J Day

So today was the long awaited J Day. The day I have been dreading for exactly one year. I have wondered for 365 days how this day would feel. What would the entire year that led up to this day feel like? And, here it is. And, here it goes. Really, it's just another day. Another day to choose God's joy and enjoy my family. Another day to remember my sweet little boy and the short time we had with him. Yes, we did pause more to remember him (pics soon), but it was still just another day in this journey.

I believe this day was so bearable because of several reasons. First, we have an AMAZING group of friends and family who have been praying for us this past year and specifically this week. I can't stress the word 'amazing' enough. Also, I think it is because we faced all of the many other ups and downs of the year head on. We didn't save all of the hurt for today. Instead, we faced it through the weeks and milestones the best way we knew how. Finally, we just choose not to dwell on the negative memories of the event. We certainly feel the sadness deeply, but we try not to allow ourselves to go down the path of deep despair and sit and dwell.

There have been so many things that have spoken to us this past year... music by Christ Tomlin; the song Blessed Be the Name of the Lord by Matt Redmon; key verses from the Bible like Job 1:21 and Jeremiah 29:11... then there are our friends and the many, many acts of agape love they have shown us through cards, messages, texts, prayers, pictures, and gifts. These many gifts of love helped us to heal throughout the year.

So, here is how our first J Day took place. First, daddy cooked us some pancakes for breakfast. He even made two J pancakes for the girls to eat. I loved the idea!

After lunch we decided to go out to the cemetery and visit Jeremiah's grave.

This little frog is just so adorable! It is the first time I had seen it. 

Brittany put it on his grave for his birthday. 

She always called him her little bullfrog...Jeremiah was a bullfrog (song)... 

It was so sweet and I just love it!

Here's his grave as of today.
We brought the red poinsettia. Sweet Jen Brown had brought the yellow roses with a beautiful card with Jeremiah 29:11 written in it. Also, sweet Addie colored a picture for our little guy.
 It means so much to know he is remembered by our friends!
I have no idea who the pumpkins are from,
 but I love that someone else visited him and left a fun fall gift!

Once we visited the grave, we went home for family nap! :o) After nap, the girls made Rice Krispy Christmas Houses.

Then after we ate some Chili's for dinner, we headed out for some Christmas light sight seeing. I wanted to do this because this was the only "event" we ever really did as a FULL family. Last year, Jeff and I felt so proud that we were able to load up all 5 kids and drive around to look at lights. I am not so sure it was the warm, fuzzy fun I would have liked for it to have been, but it was the only family outing we had with Jeremiah, so I wanted to continue it on his day.

We finished the evening at our BF's, the Robbins. It was good to go hang out for a bit and just be. We love those guys more than they can ever know. They have been pillars of strength for us this past year... and the past 10 years of our lives. They are lifetime friends ... if they don't disown us!

I'll end with my verse that helps me to choose love and joy...

The Lord has given

and the Lord has taken away.

Still I will choose to say, Blessed Be the Name of the Lord!

Job 1:21

We love you, Jeremiah! Not a day goes by that your absence is not deeply felt in our home! We rejoice in knowing that we will see you again! Blessed be the name of the Lord!