New Year ... New You (said in my best cheesy voice)

Raise your hand if you think New Year's Resolutions are lame.

Raise your hand if you make New Year's Resolutions.

Raise your hand if you silently make NYRs so that if you fail, no one will know.

Raise your hand if you tell everyone your NYR because you can't keep your mouth shut.

Yes, I can raise my hand to each of these. Welcome to the schizophrenic mind that I call home! :o)

Okay, now that my tongue in cheek remarks are over about the good ol New Year's Resolution, it's time to be serious. Despite the fact that I do think a NYR can be lame, I do think that it is a great time of the year to evaluate me and my family's spiritual life and make some new goals for us this year (or NYR whatever you want to call it :o)). I guess I struggle with the words NYR because I feel like those are emotional last ditch efforts to achieve the usual desires that the rest of the world is reaching for. I am hoping that for my family that instead of a resolution we choose to make goals that are evaluated and not abandoned when the goal seems out of reach but rather the focus is adjusted so that the goal is now once again in sight.

In Ted Tripp's book Shepherding a Child's Heart he gives great guidelines for evaluating the spiritual lives of our children. I hope to sit down with Jeff this week and really hammer out some spiritual plans for our family and each of our kids. I just want us to be so intentional in training and encouraging our children in God's ways.

As far as my own spiritual life, I am hoping to use the books,  Good and Angry and One Thousand Gifts, as well as some dear friends, to help me become a better mommy. This past year has been quite a year of reflection and growth. With being pregnant with triplets, burying Jeremiah, and homeschooling Emma, I have been given new opportunities to see my ugly and to grow from it. To say the very least, it has been the most challenging year of my life. That puts it mildly. Therefore, I hope to take the experiences from the past year, these books, some dear friends, and learn some new disciplines that will help me become a stronger mother and wife. I am excited to see what God holds for me this next year!

Hanging Out

Here are some funs pics I want to remember of our silly little family at this stage in life. Jeff was home for two weeks this Christmas, and I always love just having family time to hang out. I know there will be a day that the kids are much older and we are on the go more. Therefore, I want to make sure I always remember our days on the floor chasing little punks and letting them chase us! 

First, we've got Mr. Noah. He apparently loves to climb into the toy boxes and play within the box. Boundaries! I guess kids really do like boundaries. :o) Here he is making his way into the box.

Someone is proud of himself!

His new face he likes to make.

Jenna was tackling daddy.

Micah was wandering around with his big belly hanging out and big grin shining.

I had some cuddly bugs on my lap.

Then a few more kiddos decided to join me.

Yes, this time of on the ground, constant parenting is a tough period. But, the blessings are plentiful as long as I stop long enough to enjoy them. God's blessed me with these babies, and I hope I can always remember to look for the blessings.

J Day

So today was the long awaited J Day. The day I have been dreading for exactly one year. I have wondered for 365 days how this day would feel. What would the entire year that led up to this day feel like? And, here it is. And, here it goes. Really, it's just another day. Another day to choose God's joy and enjoy my family. Another day to remember my sweet little boy and the short time we had with him. Yes, we did pause more to remember him (pics soon), but it was still just another day in this journey.

I believe this day was so bearable because of several reasons. First, we have an AMAZING group of friends and family who have been praying for us this past year and specifically this week. I can't stress the word 'amazing' enough. Also, I think it is because we faced all of the many other ups and downs of the year head on. We didn't save all of the hurt for today. Instead, we faced it through the weeks and milestones the best way we knew how. Finally, we just choose not to dwell on the negative memories of the event. We certainly feel the sadness deeply, but we try not to allow ourselves to go down the path of deep despair and sit and dwell.

There have been so many things that have spoken to us this past year... music by Christ Tomlin; the song Blessed Be the Name of the Lord by Matt Redmon; key verses from the Bible like Job 1:21 and Jeremiah 29:11... then there are our friends and the many, many acts of agape love they have shown us through cards, messages, texts, prayers, pictures, and gifts. These many gifts of love helped us to heal throughout the year.

So, here is how our first J Day took place. First, daddy cooked us some pancakes for breakfast. He even made two J pancakes for the girls to eat. I loved the idea!

After lunch we decided to go out to the cemetery and visit Jeremiah's grave.

This little frog is just so adorable! It is the first time I had seen it. 

Brittany put it on his grave for his birthday. 

She always called him her little bullfrog...Jeremiah was a bullfrog (song)... 

It was so sweet and I just love it!

Here's his grave as of today.
We brought the red poinsettia. Sweet Jen Brown had brought the yellow roses with a beautiful card with Jeremiah 29:11 written in it. Also, sweet Addie colored a picture for our little guy.
 It means so much to know he is remembered by our friends!
I have no idea who the pumpkins are from,
 but I love that someone else visited him and left a fun fall gift!

Once we visited the grave, we went home for family nap! :o) After nap, the girls made Rice Krispy Christmas Houses.

Then after we ate some Chili's for dinner, we headed out for some Christmas light sight seeing. I wanted to do this because this was the only "event" we ever really did as a FULL family. Last year, Jeff and I felt so proud that we were able to load up all 5 kids and drive around to look at lights. I am not so sure it was the warm, fuzzy fun I would have liked for it to have been, but it was the only family outing we had with Jeremiah, so I wanted to continue it on his day.

We finished the evening at our BF's, the Robbins. It was good to go hang out for a bit and just be. We love those guys more than they can ever know. They have been pillars of strength for us this past year... and the past 10 years of our lives. They are lifetime friends ... if they don't disown us!

I'll end with my verse that helps me to choose love and joy...

The Lord has given

and the Lord has taken away.

Still I will choose to say, Blessed Be the Name of the Lord!

Job 1:21

We love you, Jeremiah! Not a day goes by that your absence is not deeply felt in our home! We rejoice in knowing that we will see you again! Blessed be the name of the Lord!

Wow!

So, I just discovered that this little 'ol blog exists. And, might I say, to what an amazing delight! I am SO HAPPY that my dearest friends chronicled these early days for me. I understand about the unfortunate and abrupt stop in the blogging, but I am now excited to do some back-blogging and future blogging.

As I read through the old posts, many smiles and tears graced my face. I was completely unable to read the short entry on December 20, 2010. I think one strong contributor to this is that we are now embarking the one year journey of that date, and as imagined, it is quite painful.

I just have to say though what amazing friends I have! God more than blessed me with these girls in my life. I am not sure there are any real words to describe this friendship I have been given.

I am excited to go back and add highlights from this past year (as this year was quite a year) and to continue my family's life from here out! I LOVE pictures and so this will be a perfect way for me to organize pics of my beautiful family!

Thank you, my Triplet Task Force!

Christmas Cookies and Rhema

My mom's birthday is December 21st, and we have been celebrating her birthday in the same fun way for several years now. Each year we take her out for dinner, head to QT for some hot chocolate, and then head to Rhema for some lights. This year we added a new fun part to the tradition by making sugar cookies at her house.

Here's little Ray enjoying some blue icing.

Mom, the girls, and little Ray working on the cookies.

This picture is so funny of Jenna. You would think that it is just a freak moment captured, but really not so much. :o) Jenna has this crazy, uncanny ability to open her eyes wide and make this funny face. Instead of this being a one time freak pic, we actually see it quite often. This second born of mine is something else! She keeps us laughing! :o)

And, Holly will love this photo! She got bangs cut a few days earlier and hates them. I actually like them a lot, but she has already deemed them unworthy and always pins them back! At least I have this photo to always remember the bangs! Actually, one funny thing, when Holly and I both saw this quickly on the camera screen, we thought it was me! Obviously she is much thinner than I, but the dark hair, long face, and side bangs at a glance made us both think it was me! :o)

Now, on to Part 2 of crazy long blog entry. Just keep plowing on! That's my motto here!

We always end the evening at Rhema. Here are a few shots. Unfortunately there are not many pics of EVERYONE as the children were challenging and photo taking took a back seat. These are some that my sis took--yeah, bang lady.

Oh, I just love this pic. I new family of 6. And, seriously, Emma? Ha!

Uncle Randal and his girlfriend, Heather.

The Cecil family

Randal took this pic; no, he should not go into photography! 

Thanksgiving

Our Thanksgiving this year was a rather small gathering as Holly and Ray x 2 were in Kentucky. Also, we left shortly after Thanksgiving dinner with mom to head to Branson for the weekend. 

I do love Thanksgiving as I have always thought being thankful is core to our being. Then, I began reading One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp and I became even more enthralled with the idea that thanksgiving truly is at the core of our lives ... or at least that it should be. I will have to do a post in the future on the book as I am reading it a second time and hope to really glean all of the beauty out of her poetic language as well as discover how God wants me to use the valuable message. 

Anyhow, our Thanksgiving festivities began as always ... at our play dates. We had this awesome idea to make thanks giving trees. We used my Cricut and some of Sarah's cartridges to cut out the leaves. We gave the leaves to our girls and had them write things they were thankful for. In hindsight, I wish I had them write one for each day, but the flurry of thanks writing was fun, too. Finally, we found sticks in the yard, painted some pots from Hob Lob, and called it a Thanksgiving tree. I do love how they turned out. 

Here are the girls posing with our family tree.

The girls each holding "their" trees. 

Jenna used play dough to make little leaves on the her tree.

The top one is Jenna's. It says "Cheetos, daddy, and crackers". Ha!

And these are our Jeremiah leaves. 

Of course we are so thankful for him and the life that we lived with him.

I absolutely LOVE seeing his name written in Emma's handwriting. Love! Love! 

Then, on Thanksgiving we spent Thanksgiving lunch with the Hays. I am so sad that I didn't get any pictures! :o(  It seems that in my attempt to not forget any children these days, I often forget to leave my house with my camera. Do I get brownie points for not leaving any children behind?!?!

That evening my side of the family came over. Like I said, we had a quick get together and then we headed out. 

Brittany and the girls colored placemates. So precious! Good job Brittany! ;o)

Oh and these hats! These are a shout out to Aunt Holly! 

She painstakingly made 10 of these late one night for us and several of our friends. 

Aren't they adorable?!

(The hats not the kids! :o))

Okay, the kids are pretty adorable, too! 

Our attempt at a picture of all the children. Such a task!

This Thanksgiving was interesting to me. I realized as the day approached that I was holding my breath a bit. This was the only holiday we were ever able to celebrate with Jeremiah. I wasn't sure if I wanted to make a big deal about it or forget the holiday was even coming. As I lived through these only two months that I shared with my little guy, I often found myself almost holding my breath not wanting the time to slip away so quickly again.

Thankfully, through God's grace, I was able to really feel the verse Jeff picked out for J's head stone: Phil 4:13 "I thank my God every time I remember you." I am so glad that Jeff chose that verse. He kept asking me what we wanted to put on the headstone, and shamefully, I, lover of words, was unable to even fathom finding the right words to place on his little marker. So, I told Jeff to do it, and he did find the strength and courage that I was unable to muster up.

Here is a pic of our three guys on our only holiday together. Despite the deep sorrow I can begin to plunge myself in when I let myself wander down these roads, I look at pictures like this, and I thank my God every time I remember Jeremiah and those two months we had.

Micah, Noah, and Jeremiah

And, fittingly, my sister, Holly, also made these cute hats!

Playin in the leaves

We only have a few trees, but those few trees have tons of leaves!! Each Fall we get the chance to rake and have fun. The girls have anyways enjoyed jumping in the leaves, and in fact, we usually have friends over for fun.  This year the boys got to join in for the first time! They are such busy little boogers that it was hard to capture any good pics!! Here's our time in the leaves.

The boys wanted to spend more time in the cul-de-sac!