Memorial Day II

(Back-blogging)

Another way that we celebrated and remembered our Jeremiah was through a gift of my mom's. On Easter she presented us with a little tree and the children's book The Three Trees. I love the symbolism and the simple gift. It is such a sweet way to remember our guy, and I hope that we can keep the tree alive as well as move the tree with us if we ever leave.

Here are some pics of us planting the tree and marking it for Jeremiah.

The girls helping daddy dig the hole.

The boys supervised on the side of his house.

The boys have really begun to interact. 

We all just LOVE it when we see the boys notice one another.

It's so healing and painful to watch these two brothers interact and continue to grow. 

I feel humbled that I still have them yet so angry that I do not have their brother. The parallels of planting a tree to remember one while watching two others who are at the exact stage he would be at as well as watching the identical image that he would bear leave me at a loss for words.

Emma made a sweet little sign for the tree. 

We wanted to make sure Jeremiah knew this tree was for him!

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Ems never missing a photo op!

And, we ended the day with a swimming party. Celebrating life and loss.

As I reflect back on this day filled of remembrance, I am struck with the symbolism of dirt, earth, burial, life, and growth.  How each of these can represent our beginning, our end, our hopes, our desires, and our fears. We spent the day digging and planting in the earth new life in order to remember a life that we buried in the dirt of the earth. We spent the day laughing and watching two boys grow as we remembered the one boy we lost. 

We love you, Jeremiah David! What we wouldn't give for more time with you, but we rest with great joy knowing that although we can't hold you, you are being held in the arms of our Savior.

Memorial Day

(Back-blogging)

Memorial Day has always been a day of mystery or perhaps even indifference. I've always been proud of the men and women who died for my freedom and who continue to fight for me. And, I have always thought of it as purely a day to remember our veterans. However, now that I have lost my dear son, Memorial Day has become a bit more for me. I wanted yet another reason to be able to reflect on him and remember him. I hope this is not selfish and does not take away from remembering any veterans.

This would actually be the first time we had been out to visit Jeremiah as a family at his grave. It was a sobering and difficult time. The first time that Jeff and I went out to the grave was a complete devastation on one hand yet a feeling of peace on the other hand. However, every time I lay eyes on that cement head marker with my own son's name and birth date and death death, I feel complete shock.

We or I had the toughest time with deciding on the best way to "decorate" his grave. That just sounds weird to even type that. I had such mixed emotions on the entire event. I certainly wanted to honor and remember my boy, but I felt weird going to a place that I know didn't contain his sweet soul. It felt weird, almost sacrilegious to go to a place with a body in hopes of feeling closer and showing love to our Jeremiah. However, I decided that this was the best way to honor him on earth, so we went bearing our meager gifts. Mimi gave us pinwheels to set out, and we decided to plant a few little plants around his grave. 

Jeff putting in the solar lamps

]enna digging to place the plants she helped daddy pick out.

Ems wiping away dirt from Jeremiah's grave.

Emma included a little pic she drew that morning.

She actually drew one for each of the boys.
 It is a little monkey and a tree.

Mother's Day

(Back-blogging)

This was my first Mother's Day with my new, complete, and final family. There's just a feeling I can't explain knowing these are my babies and happily knowing that this will be ALL of my babies (sorry Sarah!)! :o) I am just one incredibly proud mamma of this crew.

Blessed be the name of the Lord!

My girls!

My boys!

My crew!

Ode to an Apple

Oh my sweet Jenna Faith Hay. As you've noticed, Jenna always makes herself scarce when it comes to picture taking. She either runs the other direction or makes some of the worst faces! :o) Well, on this fine May day, just me and my Jens were hanging out in the backyard. She was evidently feeling a bit risky and let me photo her apple eating endeavors. I took literally over 100 shots. It was so fun! She was just loving that apple, and I was loving her joy in the apple as well as the fact that she was actually sitting still! Ha! Here is my photo shoot with Miss Jens.

Oh my, sweet, second born baby girl! How I love you! You capture my heart in new ways each day!