Memorial Day

(Back-blogging)

Memorial Day has always been a day of mystery or perhaps even indifference. I've always been proud of the men and women who died for my freedom and who continue to fight for me. And, I have always thought of it as purely a day to remember our veterans. However, now that I have lost my dear son, Memorial Day has become a bit more for me. I wanted yet another reason to be able to reflect on him and remember him. I hope this is not selfish and does not take away from remembering any veterans.

This would actually be the first time we had been out to visit Jeremiah as a family at his grave. It was a sobering and difficult time. The first time that Jeff and I went out to the grave was a complete devastation on one hand yet a feeling of peace on the other hand. However, every time I lay eyes on that cement head marker with my own son's name and birth date and death death, I feel complete shock.

We or I had the toughest time with deciding on the best way to "decorate" his grave. That just sounds weird to even type that. I had such mixed emotions on the entire event. I certainly wanted to honor and remember my boy, but I felt weird going to a place that I know didn't contain his sweet soul. It felt weird, almost sacrilegious to go to a place with a body in hopes of feeling closer and showing love to our Jeremiah. However, I decided that this was the best way to honor him on earth, so we went bearing our meager gifts. Mimi gave us pinwheels to set out, and we decided to plant a few little plants around his grave. 

Jeff putting in the solar lamps

]enna digging to place the plants she helped daddy pick out.

Ems wiping away dirt from Jeremiah's grave.

Emma included a little pic she drew that morning.

She actually drew one for each of the boys.
 It is a little monkey and a tree.